you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
