what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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