I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
