Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can text with my tongue
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
