I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
