I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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