why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
