So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
