A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
