Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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