is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
