yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
