My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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