There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
