if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
