we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
