i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
