Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
