carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
