yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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