so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
