Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
