See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
