Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
