im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
