oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
