If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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