I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
