I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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