If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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