wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
