whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
