Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize