So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
