You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
