this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
