that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
