we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
