I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
