Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
