there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
