i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
