listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
