Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
