I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
no, he came in my armpit
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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