i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
