TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
