I wanna bring you to show and tell
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
