She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
