Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
