People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
