i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
