yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
