So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize