just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
