looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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