i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize