I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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