I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
