5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
