I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I could fuck to npr.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize