That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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