Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
