Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
either way he was missing a nipple.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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