I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
