He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
