I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
